Transgenderism: Is It A Gender Identity Disorder? Or Just Different?

What age do we really start to remember things? I have some vague memories when I was a kid? I am pretty sure I was not yet four years old. Because when I was four years old, we were already living in a different house. I can remember when we have a guest and asked me how old I was. I said I was four. But the memory I want to share now was before that, because I remember we were still in that old house. I must be three years old or even younger. Is it possible that we remember things at that age?

In that old house, I was not older than three years old, there was a huge party. I am not sure what kind and whose party. All I remember is that there are a lot of food and a lot of people. There was a teenage girl who I think used to baby sit me. I asked her to take off her skirt, because I want to wear it. When she refused, I cried out loud on the floor.

One day, I and my grandmother were in the market. She was planning to buy me slippers. Of course, as a boy, the slippers that my grandmother had in mind are slippers suitable for boys. I did not want that. I liked the pink slippers with pretty ribbons on the side. Again, I cried out loud on the market and did not stop until I got the pink slippers with ribbon I wanted. I was not yet six years old. I went to kindergarten when I was six. I was not in kindergarten on this event. Maybe I was five?

As a kid I had a huge doll. That doll was about half my size. I also used to have kitchenware and tea party play sets. I used to play a lot with that doll and my kitchen wares. As I played, I imagined that I was a mommy.

Then, I grew a little bit older. I went to school. I always get along with girls. I never played with any single boy. I find them very intimidating. I always feel safe and at home with my own crows, which is all females. Most adults always mistake me for a girl, because I behave, move, and talk like a girl. They will just know that I am a boy when I tell them my name. The most common reaction that I get: “Oh you are a boy! I thought you were a girl!”

I did not behave the way a boy is expected to behave. As a kid I was aware that I was different. It used to bother me a little, because I thought there was something wrong with me. I never been to a psychologist or a psychiatrist when I was a kid, but if I did, they will diagnose me with Gender Identity Disorder. Now that I am an adult, I look back to this specific period of my childhood, then I realised I have trouble with the word disorder. It implies that I am sick. I might be different, but it does not mean that I have a disorder.

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Transgender Violation of Gender Rules

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Breaking the Law.”

Generally speaking, there are two kinds of law: the hard law and the soft law. The hard law are those written in black and white such us regulations and constitutions. On the other hand soft laws are those regulation that are not written in paper and yet universally executed and accepted. Basically, laws are based on the normative principles, but we should not be quick to equate laws with norms. Norms work in a very implicit way, while at the same time has a dramatic effect in our society. Normative principle is a signifier where rules are created that separates the normal from abnormal, good from bad, from what is acceptable and what is not, and so on.

I consider myself as an obedient citizen. I follow all the rules and as far as I know I am not breaking any law. Sometimes, the problem with a bureaucracy is that there are so many rules and regulations that you are not aware of and you do not know anymore if you are breaking any. Then of course, you if you are not caught, you are officially not doing anything against the law.

However, I disobey the normative rules of our gendered society on a daily basis. Every day, I transgress the boundaries of the dichotomous gender binary. Fundamentally speaking, male sex should embrace every conforming norms about the masculine gender, which of course a fundamental gender rule that I disobey every day. Being a biological male who is always seeking recognition as feminine, I am guilty of violating every essence of the gender rules of our society.  I claim and perform my transgender identity openly and express my gender not according to the rules of hetero-normativity.

Of course, it is not illegal for a man to be feminine or for a woman to be masculine. Police men will not arrest me for wearing female clothing, little make-up, long hair and allowing my peers to use female pronouns on me. But then, there is another kind of policing: the policing of our society. When one violates the unwritten rules and regulation of our society, he or she can be policed by the judgemental looks, bullies, discrimination, hate speech, and sometimes violence.

This exclusion through social policing has a silver lining. It is very empowering. When one is confronted by the social police, you symbolically stand up firm on your feet and look straight back at them. I said symbolically, because I do not mean that we should make scenes in public by fighting back. We fight by continuing to express our genders in fundamentally different ways. We transgender and transsexual men and women should express that there is more to it than a strict and suffocating structure of gender binary. And yes, we and we should be proud with our unruly behaviour, of course as long as we do not compromise our own sake and of other people around us. As long as we keep that in mind, we are not doing anything against humanity.

Why I Joined The Blogging Community As A Transgender Blogger?

We all have different reasons and motivations why we blog. We like to express ourselves, express our thoughts and feelings, share our experiences and to connect with other people who have the same interest like us. As for me, aside from expressing my thoughts and feelings, I enjoy reading and exploring different blogs more than wirting one myself. When I read your blogs, specially written by people like me who are transgenders who are writting about transgenderism, I do not feel alone. In my heart and mind I am with them in this virtual community. Like them, I also have the same struggles and sufferings. The blogs of other transgender people here who write about their experiences as transgenders are really inspiring. I am very happy to be able to get connected with you.

I am really looking forward to find more blogs of, for and about transgenders here in wordpress.com. I would like to be connected with you and also to communicate with you through our blogs. My vision is to have this transgender blogging community where we would connect our blogs, write, read and comment on our post and really become virtual friends. I am thinking more of a transgender bloggers club. A small community in this virtual world. That would really be nice!

I have just started blogging again. I really enjoy blogging. I always have the urge to share my thoughts and feelings. So far, I have already found a lot of transgender bloggers who blog about transgenders. I really hope that we could connect with each other and be able to comment on transgender and feminist issues through our shared struggles and experiences. I have already found some blogs writing about transgenders and I really enjoy reading all of them. As much as possible, I am also trying to comment on their blog entries.

I hope that this blog will grow with your blogs. Thank you!

The Transgender Category in the Gender Binary

The previous post entitled: “Is Feminism Excluded For Biological Women” provides a considerable discussion on whether transgenders could be legitimate personalities of feminist movements. Answering the question is not an easy task, because there are different kinds of feminisms that are aligned into different feminist school of thought. The feminisms of equality see the gender binary as a dichotomy between male and female, while the feminisms of difference interpret the gender power hierarchy is not shared between two sexes, but assumed by masculine standards. For the adherents of the school of feminisms of difference the dichotomy is not necessarily between the males and the females, but between the masculine and the rest. The rest in this case is considered to be a symbolical woman and not the biological. A symbolic woman implies that the category is a political position of the “rest” or the “other”. The “other” sex, which is not masculine is therefore not just one sex, but many different sex/gender. At least, that is how I interpret Luce Irigaray’s work entitled: The Sex Which is Not One. The other sex are those who are marginalized by the dominant masculine social order. It is a social and political position that are oppressed by the one gender which is the masculine gender.

Luce Irigaray’s view on the language of gender domination in our society is not characterized by what we have, but it was mainly with what we do. Therefore, it is suffice to say, that for Irigaray, the very gender distinction of our society is not primarily based on the biological sense of maleness and femaleness. It moves beyond the biological determinism. She sees masculinity as a symbolic order. We live in a masculine world. This masculine world speaks the language of masculinity. It is a masculine game where the rules of the game is based on masculinity. The masculine dictate what the rule of the games and how the game should be played. It is therefore a monopoly of masculine power. The masculinity in this case means male, middle-class and white and not the male, poor and coloured. The male, poor and coloured are also in the category of the other sex being oppressed by that one dominant masculine normativity. It is not only women are being oppressed in our gender hierarchy, but also male of colours, male imigrants, women of colour and other gender variant groups who express their genders in fundamentally different ways such us transgenders and transsexuals.

To simply aligned the M to F transgenders to the male category of gender binary can be problematic, because that would automatically imply that transgenders are males who are privileged and who are also oppressing women. Like women, transgenders are also oppressed by the masculine normativity that requires heteronormativity. It can also be problematic to quickly aligned the F to M transgender to the biological category of women, because transgenders and transsexuals experience a different kind of oppression like the heterosexual women do. At least the heterosexual women (mostly white and middle-class) enjoy some privilege of adequate representation. Aligning M to F and F to M transgenders to their respective biological sex can erase their existence and representation in the society. Visibility is a prerequisite for representation and representation is essential in order to address and resist oppression. The concept of “sexual difference” of Irigaray then gives a possibility and opportunity to transgenders become visible not as men and women, but as their own: transgenders.

The Daily Post Writing Promt: Burnt

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Burnt.”

When you are faced with a crisis like this, it makes you reconsider your priorities. All of a sudden you become aware of your basic needs and subtract those things that you thought you need. I should bring my clothes with me, but the house is on fire and I have no time to pack a luggage as if I am going to a vacation. Should I bring food? It is a fire! My brains are secreting huge amount of adrenaline. Should I bring my make-up kit? Come-on! Who am I kidding? The house is on fire, I do not mind to be a transgender on a street without make up! It is not time to worry myself whether I look like a woman or a man! Ah! I need to save my personal computer by all means, because I am half way with my thesis! Oh my! My personal computer is just too bulky. I have no time to deassemble the pc otherwise I will be toasted myself. And there are my pre-internet era memorabilla: my diaries and photo album! Once I have lost them, I lost them forever. I have no digital copy! But then I left them all.

So in response to today’s The Daily Post’s Writing Prompt: Burnt, the things I should have brought with me when the house is on fire, but left them anyway are: clothes, food, make-up, personal computer and memorabilia. Instead, I have the fire extinguisher to extinguish the fire as best as I could. I have my mobile phone to call 911. And I have the insurance policy in my hand!

Let us all knock on wood that this scenario will not occur to us! Oops.. woods are flamable!

Is Feminism Exclusive For Biological Women?

We were presenting our abstract for our research paper in small group in class. My topic was about how the regulation of transgender can advance emancipation of this particular gender minority group and yet unable to improve acceptance amongst the member of the society. This topic was inspired by Judith Butler’s text entitled: Regulation in Critical Terms For The Study of Gender. (edited by Catherine R. Stimpson and Gilbert Herdt).

One of the members of the panel group said that my research proposal is a bit problematic, because it is difficult to position my topic to feminist debates, because feminism is literally about, for, and by women in a biological sense. Transgenders, even though they sought recognition of the social category women are not women in the strictly biological sense.

I felt offended with that remark. Of course, it was her opinion and she is entitled for her opinion specially in class. I cannot blame her. I do not want to. I said: “Like most women, transgenders, both males to female and female to male, are also oppressed by the phallogocentric society where masculine heteronormativity is considered the only standard.

We are too quick to equate feminism with women alone. It is of course very understandable that when we hear feminism the first image that come accross our mind is women’s liberation movement. And when we say women, we meant those who are women in biological, natrual, and literal sense. However, feminism is not single and universal. There are different kinds of feminisms as much as there are different school of thoughts within feminism. These two prominent feminist school of thoughts are the feminisms of equality and the feminisms of difference. 

The feminisms of equality argues that women should be equal to men in a sense that women must be similar with men. Women should not be second to men, because women are as much as capable of men. This implies that women must also have equal share on the public domein. From this ideological framwork, gender binary is composed of the male axis on one side and the female axis on the other. The equation would be: gender binary = male/female. One of the main characteristics of this gender binary structure is that it only represents two sexes namely the male and the female. It does not represent other matrixes of other categories where asymmetric power distribution is channeled namely, suxuality (male and female homosexuals), this representation is mainly Eurocentric and fails to adequately represent the coloured males and females, intersexed persons, and those who perform their genders in fundamentally different ways (transgender and transsexual men and women). The main figure of this school of thought is Simone de Beauvoir.

Another school of thought is the feminisms of difference. The gender binary from this school of thought is not strictly understood based on the male and female dichotomy, but the symbolic masculine order and the rest. The canon of our society is based on masculine standard. Science, hisotry and philosophy are all written based on masculine perspective. The paramiters of normativity in our society have been only based on the standards of masculinity. The others do not enjoy their own language of representation. In this framework, the term women becomes more than biological representation but also symbolic. Women is an emblem of strength and political strugle opposing and challenging the standard of masculinity. Women then is a collective identities of those who do not have proper representation in the phallogocentric society. It is so happen, that transgenders are also gender minority group who are oppressed by the regime of gender binary. Feminisms of difference do not only advocate that women become similar to men. It celebrates that there are a lot of gender variations aside from men and women and that every variant must have their own standards, language and representation.

Based on feminisms of equality, transgenders are just men. Being men, transgenders are also oppressors of women. That would be misleading, because transgenders are also marginalised group in our masculine society. However, following the school of thought of difference, transgenders – even though they are not biological women – allows them to become legitimate personalities of feminism.